Motivation!

i got new inspiration.. from my sister. After i`ve been through 19 years in this world, what have i did for myself, my family and for my future/

Bila aku fikir balik, selama aku hidup sebagai anak bongsu dalam 4org adik beradik ni, there`s not much things to be proud of. All i have done is troubling my mom, my sister and my brother.. Im such a black sheep in this family. Dari kecil masa aku baby, my dad has been dead since i was 9 month. Mak aku yang besarkan aku menyusukan aku, pangku aku dalam kereta (my sister told me) and lots of many things she did for me and aku langsung xpernah nak appreaciate mak aku. She scarifies a lot for me for this whole 19 years.

Aku tak tahu kenapa dengan diri aku and keep questioning myself how can i be the best in this family, what can i do to make my mom proud of me and what makes me different from my sisters and brother. Sejujurnya, aku bukan anak yang baik mahupun adik yang baik , I WANT to change my life, my attitude and be the BEST in this family. I need strength.. Ya Allah please help me, guide me i swear i will do my best to change my attitude. I want to prove to my mom, to my family that i CAN STAND on my OWN FEET. My mom is now 58 years old. I want to do something that she think i can stand on my own feet after she die, and i want to PROVE to her that i CAN be the best student in my course! i want to be the best on everything that i do.But Allah please help me, guide me i really want to change my life into a better one.

Sem 1 kat ukm ni i`ve ruined a lot especially my study. Cuak jugak nak tengok result nanti, dapat ke x 4 flat or dean list? But i promise to myself, when open this new semester, i will focus on my study, be the best in my education`s course, appreciate my mother & family more than my friend, involve in program that give benefit to myself and my course. I need to work harder for my future and i dont want to depends on others even to my bf. I want to be a person who can live without depending on others help! Therefore, i need to start from now, looking forward and stop troubling my family.

Okay, start sem baru ni 17/2/2014 aku nak list kan apa aku nak buat:

1) Dalam sebulan 2 kali balik( if xde program)
2) Call mak setiap 2 hari.
3) Dapat duit pinjaman negeri Selangor agih untuk belajar, special event, saving (kereta/rumah/kawen) hihi.
4) Study smart and hard untuk dapat dean list supaya dapat tukar pinjaman kepada scholar. 4 Flat!
5) Kurangkan benda-benda lagha.
6) Celebrate birthday mak 6/3/2014 and belanja family makan luar.
7) Appreciate kawan-kawan sekeliling.
8) Buat assingnment sehabis baik, jangan procrastinate!

So akuakan berusaha untuk capaikan list kat atas ni dan mungkin akan bertambah lagi list diatas. We`ll see. So i hope tahun 2014 is a new beginning of my story and a new me :)